Holy FRAK I am out of shape! And photos of me as a kid. O_o;

Just did 2 whole minutes of cardio.  HELL YEAH!!!!

Now I feel like I'm going to die.

*headdesk*

I do really want to lose weight, though.  I've been overweight for about 10 years, and while I haven't gained any major weight in two or three years, I haven't lost any major weight either.  I fluctuate between about 201 and 205, which would be okay if I was taller, but I'm pretty short, so it's more of a problem.

I know cardio can be a problem for people of any weight, if you're out of shape.  Even skinny people have a hard time running any distance if their hearts are used to being at a resting pace.

I would like to be skinnier, but mostly I would just like to be healthier.  I would like to NOT get out of breath from doing 2 minutes of cardio, or from carrying desktop computers up and down ladders at work.  I don't necessarily want to be a size 6 (although that would be awesome if I could pull it off), I just want to be in good enough shape that I can do the basic things that are required of me on a daily basis without feeling like a fat tub of lard.  I always feel so ashamed that I get out of breath from carrying a laptop down a ladder, or from carrying a printer up to the register for a customer.  I just feel like they're going to judge me for being fat and out of shape.  I don't know why their opinions matter so much to me, as most of them I will never see again.  I guess it's more my opinion of myself that I'm superimposing on other people.

I used to be super skinny as a kid.

[2-hour gap here, where I got side-tracked looking through old photos, then restoring the following ones to post here.]

 This is me in a brand new birthday dress, around age 6 or 7.  My mom used to hand-make all my dresses; I didn't appreciate them when I was little, but I hope to give some of my dresses to my own daughter someday.

 This is me at a Christmas play when I was around 9 or 10, I think.  I didn't want to be in it because I was super shy, but I remember liking it in the long run.

 

 I think in this one I was also about 7 years old.  This was taken at Mount Desert Island in Maine, which is a park that we used to have a timeshare at.  We used to go for about a week or two out of every year, and I loved it.  Huge cliffs right down to the ocean, great cross-country skiing, tons of bike trails in the summer, great stuff.  If you've never been, go there.

 Me and my brother reading the Saturday comics.  This was how our Saturdays typically went... we got to sleep in, and woke up to Saturday morning cartoons (pretty much the only day of the week that cartoons aired... stupid spoiled-rotten kids these days with their Cartoon Network and their Nickelodeon), then we either had soup or PB&J sandwiches while reading the comics.

If you notice the window, you can barely make out the next door neighbor's shed in all the snow.  :)

Even in middle school I was still pretty thin.  I think this was my 8th grade photo.  Middle school was horrible, in ways you couldn't possibly imagine, and I was so glad to get out of there.  But if I could go back and do it again, I would do it in a heartbeat, to be a better friend to one particular person.  I know she appreciated the friendship we had, but I know I could have done a better job.

Okay, I promise I'm done posting old photos.  :)